Sept. 25th, 2010
One of the first lessons that a man learns when he delves into the subject of human relations and power is that withholding the truth can be advantages to him. The control of information can give him power. He can make himself anything he pleases in the eyes of others, if he plays his cards right. For someone raised to be honest at all times, without question, the realization of the power of deception can be intoxicating. Suddenly, everything is so much easier, because all of the honest people around seem so simple and easy to manipulate. Suddenly, such a man is a lofty giant in a land of of ants.
The game continues on, as a once upright man learns to maneuver himself just right to create the desired effects in the world around him. As time goes on, he discovers that he can ultimately achieve nearly anything in his interactions with others, anything that is, except for one thing. Despite all of his clever words and manipulative behavior, the one thing the dishonest man cannot achieve is true connection. Such a man does not simply live behind a mask that can be pulled off to reveal his true character. No, he is far too twisted for that; such a man pulls off one mask, only to reveal another and still another. Such a man is a shell of a human being. The meaning of all his words become tangled and twisted, even if he wishes for them not to. They become twisted, even in his own mind. Every action is somehow calculated in treachery against others. The dishonest man is not capable of friendship. Although others will love him for what they believe he is, he will always know that they love a lie, a fake, and a shell of a man.
Before one can love a friend, one most first be capable of loving oneself, for what man can allow a friend to love someone he cannot love himself? And so, the dishonest man alienates himself from the bond of friendship, because he knows his friends love a lie. For all his pomp and circumstance and false friendship, the dishonest man is the poorest and loneliest man, even if he is the only when who knows it.
How do I know? That’s simple enough: I’ve been this man at one time or other in my life. If we are honest, we must admit that we all have. Here’s the interesting part: All of the power we gain through dishonesty becomes hollow and not fulfilling, because deep down, we know we are fake. We can’t make true connection with others, which is one of our most important needs as social beings. The path to true fulfillment is through transparency. It takes more courage and more work to be transparent, but it is the only way to build true connection. Anything else is just a mask.